MikeSpace

Found this on the Ableton Live forum (I love that place!):

Review of “The Holy Bible”

With possibly one of the strongest opening lines in history, the Holy Bible really starts off swinging. Here we’re not only introduced to the main character, named God, but are also informed that he’s some sort of magical being (whether that’s a vampire or a wizard or something, we don’t know yet – we just know he can fly and shoot laser beams). The prose in this section is simply top notch, and you’ll find that the action, atmosphere and language of the Holy Bible are carried off with a master’s touch. But accompanying this impressive show of skill is also one of the book’s greatest flaws: Verbosity. One of the first things they teach you in any writer’s workshop is that every word in a novel should be integral to the story; never leave anything in that doesn’t absolutely need to be there. So, while we as readers start the book all sweeping through demons and darkness like Ronnie James Dio – rocking out and firing lightbeams and building people out of dirt – it all quickly gets bogged down in unnecessary detail.

As readers we’re enthralled by the mystic action; wondering exactly what kind of creature this God is, why he has these powers and what on earth he’s going to do with them, and then all of a sudden we’re pulled out of the action and forced to sit idly while the author describes an entire week (day by day) in God’s life. I mean, that’s great and all that we’re getting some backstory on his character, but honestly, what happened with paragliding through Hell? I don’t really care what your Wednesdays are like, or on which days you like to rest – get back to the action! Jesus, if we wanted to hear about your day, we would read your LiveJournal, Christ.

Due to the presence of these tangents, a lot of readers won’t stick around for the meat of the story, and that would certainly be a shame because once it gets going, it really is one of the most exciting reads around (just to give you an idea of how good it is, the book has apparently gathered such an intense fanbase that some people give it away for free on the streets!). The first half of the book, called the Old Testament, is really more about getting a feel for the setting than it is advancing the story. During this time we get a glimpse of God’s troubled past and are witness to a few key events that really allow the depth of the character to shine through (he’s kind of a dark anti-hero; quick tempered and sometimes spiteful – but much like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, he actually has a heart of gold deep down).

The author takes this set-up time to explore the world thoroughly. But while even supporting characters are given their moment to shine, sometimes that gets distracting. For example, during Moses’ adventures, we come to relate to him as a troubled sort of everyman. Sure, he was adopted by royalty, but he never really became complacent. He saw the mistreatment and suffering of the people around him, and he was moved into taking action. All good so far, right? It’s kind of like Footloose or a Bruce Springsteen song: It’s all about the plight of the working man. (And honestly, who exemplifies the working man more than slaves? All they do is work!)

It’s a simple little story of class conflict and redemption, and then, almost without warning, everything suddenly gets magical: Oceans are parted, flaming shrubbery starts yelling at dudes and, in what is one of many disturbingly phallic metaphors littered throughout the book, Moses and the Pharaoh’s magicians start slinging about their “snakes” and “staffs” to see whose is bigger. It’s all quite exciting and imaginative, but it feels kind of like a bait and switch: We came into Moses’ story reading The Grapes of Wrath, then wham! Moses finds out he’s a Jew and everything goes Harry Potter.

In all fairness, the Jews are a notoriously magical people.

After what seems like 400 years, the Holy Bible finally finishes the setup phase and launches us into the main tale, where we meet our central character for the first time – even though it’s still God. Sort of. It gets a little confusing, frankly: Our protagonist, God, is somehow also a character named Jesus Christ, who is the son of God and- listen, it’s never quite clear what the genealogy is, or how God is his own son or anything (and what’s up with the ghost?) but a lot of the set-up just has to be taken on faith. Now, the character of Jesus may not be the most original creation (he’s kind of amalgam of three other prominent protagonists: The “awakened man” complex, like Neo from the Matrix; a bit of Superman’s down home heroics; and an oddly compelling dash of Timothy Leary’s “freaking out the squares” mentality) but he’s oddly endearing nonetheless.

And it’s a good thing Jesus is such a likable protagonist, because his cast of supporting characters seems utterly disposable at times. No sooner are you introduced to an intriguing new character than the author brutally murders them in some bizarre fashion, for no real reason and often with little to no impact on the story itself. The character of John the Baptist, for example, was a personal favorite of mine. He read like a kind of gruff bearish figure (I mentally cast him as John Goodman) and his presence lent the book an almost whimsical twist. But just as I was getting attached to him, the author has him beheaded almost as a footnote!

This is all we John the Baptist fans get for a death scene: “And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison.”

One sentence!

The Holy Bible kills off supporting characters like horror movies kill black people. Listen, I know that was kind of a spoiler, but it’s quite hard to review a book like this without spoiling something: The plot twists, turns, snakes and gyrates like Axl Rose on ecstasy. John’s death was a minor spoiler, but there are some big ones I’m avoiding here (hint: Watch for Zombies!). So, without going further into details that might spoil the work, just know that The Holy Bible is a rompin’ stompin’ fantasy adventure full of subtle morality and intricate allegory the likes of which we haven’t seen since The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Really, there are only a few criticisms I have: The sections where the author obviously forces their own political agenda into the story are rather distracting (at one point the whole story grinds to a halt so the Jesus character can give some sort of “sermon” on this “mount”-like thing that is little more than liberal propaganda extolling the benefits of a welfare state) and at times it seems like it could’ve used an editor with a heavier hand (1100 pages long?! Who do you think you are, David Foster Wallace?). I must say that overall, the Holy Bible is a story everybody should read at least once. Just keep in mind that though this may seem like your run of the mill fantasy adventure, there are a myriad of vicious maulings, explicit torture scenes, rape and prostitution, so it’s definitely not for children!

Oh, and though there are some hints of a sequel (a Second Coming is mentioned a few times), I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you – no official deals have been signed at this time.

So, in summation, I’d give the Holy Bible four out of five.

(from here)

Oh great – the Federal Court just ruled that unfettered spending by corporations as applied to political campaigns is protected as free speech. So my multi-billion dollar smear campaign is now on equal footing with those of R. J. Reynolds, or Lockheed, or Blackwater. The nation is now much safer from the influence of special interest groups, and we are that much closer to having representative government.

NOT.

Last week was the occasion of two firsts. It was the first time that a president of the United States was denied the opportunity to address schoolchildren because the parents feared “brainwashing”, and it was the first time that a US president was heckled with town hall fascistic style shouting while addressing Congress. And these firsts were leveled at the first black US president.

White nationalist freaks unite.

Fuckheads.

To America’s wingnuts, Obama’s election is like another Sept 11.

From The Guardian: Tuesday 18 August 2009

Men with guns swell protest crowds outside Obama meetings

Incidents in Arizona and New Hampshire signal ‘disturbing trend’

About a dozen people openly carrying guns mingled with protesters outside the convention centre in Phoenix, Arizona yesterday, where President Barack Obama was addressing a crowd on his plans to reform US healthcare.

One of the men carried an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle slung over his shoulder. Phoenix police said no crimes were committed and no one was arrested as Arizona is an “open-carry” state, meaning that anyone legally allowed to have a gun can carry it in public as long as it is visible. Only someone carrying a concealed weapon is required to have a permit.

The man with the rifle declined to be identified, but told the Arizona Republic newspaper that he was carrying the weapon because he could. “In Arizona, I still have some freedoms,” he said.

It was the latest incident in which protesters openly displayed guns near the president. Last week, when Obama appeared in New Hampshire to talk about healthcare, a man carrying a sign that read “It is time to water the tree of liberty” – alluding to Thomas Jefferson’s speech, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants” – stood outside the meeting with a pistol strapped to his leg.

Some experts have expressed alarm that people carrying guns are allowed anywhere near the president. Fred Solop, a Northern Arizona university political scientist, said the incidents in New Hampshire and Arizona could signal the beginning of a disturbing trend.

“When you start to bring guns to political rallies, it does layer on another level of concern and significance,” he told the Associated Press. “It actually becomes quite scary for many people. It creates a chilling effect in the ability of our society to carry on honest communication.”

Paul Helmke, the president of a gun control group, the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, said the presence of armed protesters near the president was a recipe for trouble.

“To me, this is craziness,” he said. “When you bring a loaded gun, particularly a loaded assault rifle, to any political event, but particularly to one where the president is appearing, you’re just making the situation dangerous for everyone.”

But the secret service played down the security risks, saying that armed demonstrators in open-carry states such as Arizona and New Hampshire have little impact.

“In both cases, the subject was not entering our site or otherwise attempting to,” said Ed Donovan, a secret service spokesman. “They were in a designated public viewing area. The main thing to know is that they would not have been allowed inside with a weapon.”

The debate over healthcare reform has taken an ugly turn as conservative talkshow hosts inflame the radical right. Last week, a man outside a raucous town hall meeting on healthcare in Hagerstown, Maryland, held a placard reading: “Death to Obama, Michelle and 2 stupid kids.”

Armed religious fanatics. Domestic terrorism. Violent Racism. Reacting to the terrifying prospect of *gasp* universal health care. My neighbors.

I live sooo close to Canada – too bad they’d never have me because of where I come from (America).